Good morning everyone! Let’s give a warm welcome to Brian Fourman, a former private school personal finance and Bible teacher who has transitioned to being a stay-at-home dad and blogger. In his spare time, Brian enjoys rental real estate, running, cooking, and sports. He loves spending time with his four kids and hearing about his wife’s work as a CPA. You can find his inspirational posts on his blog at Luke1428.com or connect with him on Facebook, Google+, and Twitter.

If you’re interested in guest posting on RFI, let me know.

So, you want to be a stay-at-home dad? Great! I recently became one after many years of planning and contemplating, and it’s definitely not a decision to take lightly.

For us to get here, my wife had to truly want to work outside the home on her own terms. I never pressured her; in fact, she was more motivated than I was.

We also had to tackle the financial aspect. Moving from two incomes to one is challenging. We had to adjust our budget and reduce spending, especially on non-essentials, since we wouldn’t have the same level of income.

We aimed to achieve financial independence to make this work. We identified seven hurdles that we needed to overcome, some of which we started tackling years before we even thought about me becoming a stay-at-home dad.

The first hurdle was the toughest for me.

Hurdle 1: She Makes More Than I Do

This one is all about mindset. Both partners need to fully accept this arrangement. Men often tie much of their identity and fulfillment to their work, possibly more so than women do. So, becoming a stay-at-home dad requires being comfortable with your wife being the primary breadwinner. It can feel emasculating, especially under societal scrutiny. You must be ready to handle comments and questions from others while being confident about your decision.

If you can’t get past this, then reconsider. You might end up resenting your wife and feeling unfulfilled, which can harm your marriage.

Hurdle 2: A Sizable Replacement Income

How will you cope with the loss of your income? Ideally, your wife will need to make up the difference. For us, it took five years of planning, including my wife switching careers from a math teacher to a CPA, which offered a higher and more promising salary. Now, her income matches what we used to earn together, covering our expenses and leaving room for savings.

Hurdle 3: Still Able to Fund Retirement

Alongside hurdle 2, your wife’s income should be sufficient to continue funding your retirement. Ignoring this step risks financial difficulties in the future.

Hurdle 4: Limited or No Debt

Debt is a major issue. If you have significant debts, it might be best for both spouses to keep working. We spent additional years paying off our mortgage before I made the transition, ensuring we weren’t in debt to anyone when our overall income dropped.

Hurdle 5: Have Grown an Adequate Nest Egg

At 41, my wife and I have been working since we graduated college. We’ve managed to build up savings for 3-6 months of expenses. We’ve also consistently contributed to our retirement plans and invested wisely, managing to grow a decent nest egg for financial security.

How much should you save? That depends on your lifestyle and the stability of your wife’s job. We prefer having 2-4 years of expenses saved as a safety net.

Hurdle 6: Have a Passive or Side Income Source

While housework and childcare are full-time jobs, having a side income helps. We’ve ventured into rental real estate, and I’ve monetized my blog, providing some extra financial cushion and fulfilling a desire to contribute financially.

Hurdle 7: No Expected Lifestyle Inflation on the Horizon

If you can’t control your spending, have upcoming big expenses like college tuition or medical costs, or want a new home, be cautious. Handling these on one income might be tough.

Conclusion

You might manage as a stay-at-home dad without meeting all these criteria, depending on your circumstances. However, the more prepared you are, the better your chances of success. Good luck! It’s a tough choice, but if you need advice or support, feel free to reach out to me through my contact info on the blog.

What other challenges might there be for stay-at-home dads? Is the “she makes more than me” issue overblown? For those who are already stay-at-home dads, what’s your experience been like?