When Should You Present Your Financial Data?

I’ve been reading a lot about frugal dating and discussing finances in relationships, but I’m still unsure about it. My boyfriend and I just ended our relationship after a motorcycle trip last month, and now I’m thinking about dating again. I miss him, so I need some time before diving back into the dating scene. At 32, I want to start a family someday, so I can’t afford to date someone for a couple of years without considering if he could be “the one.”

Reflecting on my past relationships, I now see that a lot of our arguments revolved around money. Financial issues cause many divorces, and everyone handles money differently. Some people earn significantly more or less, and others are in serious debt. Should you be upfront about your financial situation right away?

I worry that discussing finances early on might scare some guys off. However, if they can’t handle my financial goals and situation, should we even start dating? Here’s my financial situation: I earn enough to support myself and live a minimalist lifestyle. I work less to have more free time and travel, which means I also earn less. I don’t expect the guy to pay for everything, and I won’t be moving in with him after just two weeks of dating. But eventually, I’d like to be a stay-at-home mom because I believe it’s best for raising a family. That way, I can cook, take care of the kids, and manage everything so weekends are quality family time.

I’ve thought about suggesting frugal date ideas to potential dates for two reasons. First, a guy who enjoys a picnic in the park is more likely to be my type. Second, if the date doesn’t go well, I can easily pack up and leave without the awkwardness of waiting through a full meal and hoping he’ll cover an expensive bill.

On the first date, I want to hint at financial topics. Asking about his living situation can reveal if he owns or rents. His job gives a rough idea of his salary, and a few more questions can show where his money goes. I’m not trying to be intrusive, but I prefer financially responsible people. I don’t mind debt or low salaries if the person manages their finances well. Asking these questions early isn’t usual, but I don’t want to overlook financial issues that might come up later.

What do you think? Is this approach a bit too much?