As a parent, you naturally want to provide the best for your kids and give them everything they need. It’s hard to draw the line between offering them a comfortable life and spoiling them. Here’s a closer look at some common dilemmas parents face.

Clothes
When I was a teenager, I had various small jobs like tutoring, teaching piano, and babysitting. My parents covered my basic expenses, including clothes, but with a catch. They would take me to a department store they liked and would dress my sister and me in similar outfits, which I hated. When I wanted more expensive brands, my parents would give me the amount they usually spent on clothes and I had to pay the difference. It was a fair deal as they didn’t dismiss my preference for brands but wouldn’t pay extra for them.

College
College can be a tough financial burden, especially in the US where education is costly. My aunt and uncle paid for their four children’s college education, including expensive private business schools, under the condition that they had to excel academically. This allowed their children to pursue their passions without financial stress and they all managed to secure good jobs. I, on the other hand, worked my way through college. Although it taught me the value of hard work and independence, it affected my grades and limited my educational choices. If I were to fund my child’s college education, it would depend on their dedication and the potential impact on their career.

Cars and Gadgets
In the US, having a car is often seen as a necessity, but in Europe, it’s not the same. I bought my first car at 28 and paid for both of my cars with my own money. Regarding gadgets, my mom usually gives me money for my birthday, which I spend on things like laptops or cameras. While I appreciate her help, I prefer to save up and be responsible for purchasing what I need. I would help my child with significant purchases like a down payment for a car or a new phone if they genuinely needed it for work, but I wouldn’t provide everything for them.

Life Expenses
The approach to life expenses varies widely. Charging rent to a high school kid is extreme, but so is supporting a 30-year-old who doesn’t contribute. For example, when I visit my mom in Paris, I don’t pay rent or for food because she’s in a stable financial situation and my stays are temporary. I try to contribute by helping around the house and buying extras if I want something different. It’s about finding a balance between being supportive and fostering independence.

Travel and Holidays
My grandparents used to treat the whole family to vacations abroad, creating priceless memories for us. Similarly, my other grandparents often cover my travel expenses to visit them. When it comes to spending holidays with my mom, she usually covers everything, which helps to strengthen family bonds. I believe parents should try to facilitate family gatherings as much as possible, even if it’s just a simple meal at home.

House
In Guatemala, it’s common for parents to gift a house to their children as a wedding present. This can create a distorted view of financial reality for young couples who don’t have to work as hard for their lifestyle. While some remain grateful and grounded, it’s a rare occurrence. It’s essential to help your children without spoiling them or twisting their understanding of money and hard work.

Deciding when to help your children and when to let them fend for themselves is a complex issue. It’s important to strike the right balance to ensure they grow into responsible and independent adults.