NAVIGATING THE FINANCIAL CHALLENGES OF A BREAKUP

NAVIGATING THE FINANCIAL CHALLENGES OF A BREAKUP

After a few months of ups and downs, BF and I have broken up. It’s been a little while since we ended things, but I needed time to fully process it before sharing the news. You might still see mentions of him in upcoming posts, as I have some pre-breakup content lined up.

We came to an agreement on how to divide our shared properties: the lakeside plot with the small house, the 90-acre land development, and the second beach plot. We each took half of the unsold plots and split the second beach property as well. I’m staying in the house and keeping the guest house open to offset costs, while he moved back to the city. The house is on the market, and if it sells, I’ll consider building something else on the other beach plot. I’m still mentally exhausted after 18 months of construction and visitors, so I crave some peace and quiet. Still, I might start another building project somewhere else just to be safe.

Besides splitting our shared assets and dividing the money in our company account, there isn’t much else to report. On this financial blog, I want to share some tips on surviving a breakup financially.

Don’t Let Love Blind You

When you’re single or just starting a relationship, you have a clear vision of your priorities, financial goals, and limits. Set these early. Are you okay with spending more on dates or rent if you move in together? What if your partner wants to go on an expensive holiday but you’re still in debt?

I’ve heard horror stories of people lending money to new partners or even cosigning loans and then finding themselves jobless and broke in a new city or country. You need to know what risks you’re willing to take and remember that it’s easy to get blinded by love.

Think Carefully About Combining Finances

I’ve always been against combining finances, but everyone is different. Don’t base this decision solely on your feelings for each other, as half of all marriages end in divorce. Make this choice based on your values and principles.

I’m very independent, so the idea of pooling all my money into one account and having to justify expenses didn’t sit well with me. We had a joint account to cover shared expenses like household bills and taxes, but we used our own money for personal treats, such as my month-long holiday to France.

Know Where You Stand Financially

Do you know how much money you have and how much you owe? Surprisingly, many people don’t. It’s crucial to ask questions, be involved, and know the details of your finances. If your spouse is being secretive, that’s a red flag. You could discover hidden accounts, debts, or worse. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

Have a Secret Fund

Yes, it might sound sneaky, but having a secret stash of money is essential. If the relationship goes south—say, your spouse becomes abusive or gambles everything away—you’ll be glad you had some money saved. Even a small amount can make a huge difference in having the freedom to leave a bad situation. Save birthday money, inheritance funds, or any found money.

Review Your Expenses

Now that I’m on my own, I need to reassess my expenses. Life will be more expensive, so it’s time to cut unnecessary costs. For instance, I used to share the cost of a maid and handyman with BF, but now I’m offering them work twice a week instead of full-time. Review your expenses and see where you can cut back. Can you live on one income without changing your lifestyle? Do you need to downsize or sell your car? It’s essential to act quickly before depleting your savings or accruing debt.

Write Everything Down

Document everything you shared and how you want it divided. Clearly justify your last shared expenses and ensure both parties understand and agree. This written record is crucial, especially if disputes arise later.

Break Financial Ties

If you earn less than your spouse, you might drop to a lower tax bracket after divorce. Stop procrastinating and handle it as soon as possible. Filing taxes jointly can be advantageous short-term, but be aware that the relationship dynamics can change, especially if one of you starts dating someone new.

Let It Go

Breakups hurt, and money often becomes a tool for revenge. When splitting assets, BF came up with a solution, and I agreed quickly to buy my peace of mind. Clinging to money issues will only make you both miserable. Try to be the bigger person and move on—there’s always a way to make more money.

Has a breakup ever affected your finances? Any cute friends you want to introduce me to?