Living with roommates can be a choice or a temporary way to save on rent while you’re sorting out your own place. Yesterday, I was reflecting on having roommates and realized that the small sacrifices are worth the significant savings on rent, utilities, and other bills.

I’ve had both great and terrible roommates. When I first moved to the UK, I struggled in my initial houses. In the first place, I had a bad relationship with one roommate, and in the second, nobody interacted much; we were just strangers sharing a space to sleep.

Such situations often arise when roommates don’t choose each other or when you’re in a rush and end up with the first person available without considering their habits and lifestyle. This can land you with people who are rude, messy, noisy, or worse.

So, what’s the solution?

In large houses where landlords pick random tenants, I kept to myself and ensured my room was as cozy and comfortable as possible since I spent more time there than in shared areas.

At one point, I even kept my food and kitchen items in my room to avoid them being used or misplaced by others. Installing lockers in the kitchen can also help if the space allows.

For me, these situations were temporary. I had just moved to a new city and grabbed the first available room, locking myself into a six-month lease. I took it in stride and waited it out. I tried talking to the others about the lack of cleanliness and respect for the shared space, but they didn’t care. Can you imagine that in six months, I never saw anyone do a cleaning turn? Neither did I.

So, I made sure my personal space was pleasant. I bought a desk where I could also eat at night, planted flowers by my window, and kept my area tidy. If I couldn’t improve the shared spaces, I made my room a sanctuary.

Not all roommates respond well to efforts to improve living conditions. If they don’t want to clean, you could offer to take their turn in exchange for them handling the garbage for a week, or you could all contribute to hiring a cleaner.

After almost ten years with various living arrangements, I’ve realized it boils down to two main issues:

Money
We all pay rent, but utilities might not be included. Who buys the toilet paper? Why should I pay for cable if I don’t watch TV? Money issues can strain relationships. Regular discussions with your roommates can help. If no one watches cable, cancel it. Upgrade the broadband if everyone agrees. To avoid nit-picking, you could suggest that whoever finishes the dish soap buys the next one, regardless of the brand.

Cleaning
Cleaning is another sensitive topic. Even with a rotation system, standards vary – some clean thoroughly, while others think they do but leave the place dirty. Communication is crucial. Discuss expectations, encourage visible efforts, and hold people accountable. If cleaning disputes persist, propose sharing the cost of a professional cleaner – it’s a small price for harmony.

Determine what’s important to you
Living with roommates doesn’t mean you have to live like a struggling student. I’ve seen beautiful shared houses with ample space, sometimes even a guest room, art studio, or garden. The tenants could pack in more people to lower rent but choose not to, valuing the extra space and a higher quality of life. They could each rent a small studio for slightly less but prefer the benefits of a larger shared living area.

House-shares can actually be a great living arrangement.